The Young Man Who Wanted a Girlfriend
There was once a young man who wanted nothing more than to find himself a beautiful girlfriend.
“I know”, said the young man.
“If I spend all of my time chasing women I will surely find myself a beautiful woman.”
And so the young man took all the necessary actions….
Downloaded dating apps…
Talking to beautiful women at the mall…
Even asking his friends if they knew any single women….
After chasing for one whole year the young man finally found a girl!
He did all he could to please her….
Gifts, dates, and giving her lots of attention.
After two months the girl left the young man.
“Oh why did I waste all of that time…a whole year of my life….for two months of fleeting affection!”
The young man who wanted to millions
Another young man living in a different town wanted nothing more than to be a millionaire.
“I know”, said the young man.
“I will work two jobs!”
“I will read books, attend seminars…..there is nothing that can stop me from becoming a millionaire!”
And so the young man worked his two jobs.
He read 100’s of books and attended dozens of seminars.
After a year had passed the man had saved up a nice chunk of change.
“$20,000 saved….but I am still not a millionaire”
And so the young man was disappointed….”I thought all of that hard work and I’d be a millionaire by now….what gives.”
Impatient, the young man drove to the nearest casino.
Approaching the first roulette table he saw….
“$20,000 on red!”
Around spun the roulette wheel….
The young man was devastated….
He left the casino not only losing his hope of becoming a millionaire , but pockets empty.
Now I understand that in the modern era that a girlfriend isn’t a very lofty goal considering the current state of women.
That’s not the point.
The point is it’s all about the outcome for young men like this.
The beautiful girl.
The fancy car.
They want all the cloaks, praise, and shiny outcomes….
If only I had those outcomes…..then I’d be happy.
Guys like this need to go through a period called monk mode.
Monk Mode: A period of time when a man focuses his time, improves himself internally, and builds his process.
So, three components there.
Let’s look at the first component.
1. A period of time when a man focuses his time.
The first stage of monk mode is when a man takes back his most crucial asset in life….
There is nothing more valuable than time. I wrote an article on this a while back…. Read This Once a Month…Life Is Short
To put it simply….in this phase of monk mode a man cuts the bullshit out of his life.
-The dating apps
-The bar hopping
-The women chasing
-The hours of television/netflix
-Browsing social media sites for that next hit of dopamine
You get the picture.
And by cutting these activities you have now awarded yourself with time capital.
And just like real capital….You can INVEST your time capital.
“In what though?”
The allocation is up to you of course.
Perhaps 50% health, 50% skill building for one man.
For another it might 100% skill building
And for another it might 50% hobbies 50% health.
It’s really up to you. But that’s the first benefit of monk mode….take back your time.
2. Improves himself internally
I’ll just tell you how I approach this component.
There is a video game I used to play…..it’s called NBA 2k (basketball game).
There was a section of the game called MyPlayer. This is where you create a customized player and build him into an NBA superstar.
This player has attributes/skills that you can choose to increase.
The more you play with him and accomplish certain tasks the more his skills increase. Things like shooting, passing, rebounding, etc.
In monk mode you are now your own MyPlayer.
Take out a piece of paper and write down the attributes you desire to have.
For me I have things like responsibility, courage, consistency, action, health.
Virtues if you will.
Every time you complete a task that you want to complete you add a point to the virtue bar that tasks represents.
☑️ start a blog —> +5 action
Once you complete the task you fill 5% of your action bar.
The goal here is to build yourself into the person you want to become. Your own real life myplayer.
Again, the attributes you select are up to you.
Monk mode gives a man the time he needs to reorganize his entire identity. Deciding who you want to be is a key part of this process. You are no longer focused on the mind numbing activities meant to keep you asleep, but rather you are proactively building yourself into the man you want to become.
This brings us to the final component of MGTOW monk mode.
3. Building your process
Monk mode is a shift to process away from outcome.
This is the most important component because it has the ability to bring you into a new paradigm of thinking.
Remember the young men from earlier.
I want the girlfriend.
I want the millions
I want to graduate
I want to quit porn
Doesn’t matter what the outcome is. We’re just making a point.
Whatever your goal is….monk mode has provided you with ample time….
now is your chance to deploy that time and analyze the process that will lead you to your desired outcome.
In the case of graduating.:
The process would look something like:
-I will study for 2 hours daily for the courses I am confident in
-I will study 1 extra hour for the courses that I find challenging
-I will replace time on my phone with time reading
And your only standard for success is doing these tasks DAILY.
In the case of quitting pornography,
The process would look something like:
-I will not bring my smartphone into my room
-I will read 1 hour before I got to sleep
-When I feel an urge I will lift weights/run/exercise
Your only standard for success is that you stick to the process.
“Why though….I really want the outcome.”
Focusing on outcomes puts a tremendous amount of pressure on yourself.
By focusing on process you take away the pressure of achieving an external outcome….you give yourself the opportunity to do things the right way.
And that increases your odds of success.
For example….my process for this blog:
- Post twice a week
- Provide value
How many readers, likes, etc is minutaue…. it doesn’t matter.
Process is the key ingredient to a successful monk mode.
Monk mode is like an incubation period.
The time a butterfly grows it’s wings while locked in its cocoon.
A bear hibernating in his cave to prepare for spring.
Time surplus + Internal analysis + Process building = Monk mode.
“How long should I go monk mode?”
As long as it takes to get to where you want to go. It’s up to you. Monk mode beats being a thirsty tinder boy…spending his nights swiping right on anything with a pulse.
Most men don’t have the balls to go monk mode. They can’t go one week without chasing tail or saying no to the stimulation of modern society.
Take advantage of all that monk mode has to offer.
It can supply you with skills, health, peace of mind, and fulfilling hobbies if you truly embrace it.
Talk to you guys soon.