Simp of The Week (#4)

Another week, another simp. 

This week’s simp?

A coalition of reddit simps.

Simp feels shamed

“Just because I compliment on her looks and personality does not make me simp.”


In fact it does. 

“No, no”, says this simp. 

“A real simp is someone who obsesses over  someone with compliments and gifts expecting to receive a sexual or romantic return”


So, you’re not a simp because you expect no sexual return from your compliments?

That’s as simp as it gets. 

Praising a woman for her looks/personality is cringe and subcommunicates that you are beneath her. 

At least the title read, “I am sick of being called a simp”

Simp shaming works. 

On to the next reddit simp.

Pokimane…sources of income.

“I will continue to donate 50% of my paycheck”

I hope this is a parody, but I am inclined to believe otherwise. 

“Thou shalt throw money at any slightly above average looking woman on the internet.”

Straight from the simp bible. 

Hard earned money….



Invest it?…..nah.

“Cash app it to a random woman on the internet?”…absolutely. 

Too common nowadays.

Simp getting his nails done.


“I’m a straight guy btw”

Thank you, the clarification was necessary. 

“a lot of my friends are calling me a simp”

True bros right there.

“Thou shalt sacrifice your self dignity and time to secure the attention of a woman.”

Another simp commandment. ”

And finally…our bonus simp.

Simp tries to play over watch with a “beauty”

This simp in his natural habitat….

unable to muster up self respect in the face of cold responses to his Overwatch invitation.

Simp pulls out the big guns

And this is the natural state of simpery…

“You don’t like the way I look?”

Seeking external validation from a woman to validate his existence…

Quit asking that question simps….

Instead, “Do I like the way I look.”

“You a fat ugly hog anyways “….most simping ends in rage and frustration.

When will they ever learn?

Future submissions can be sent to


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