So She Dumped You?…Become a Selfish King

It was a beautiful day and the Selfish King decided to take a few hours to walk through the local park. As the king strolled across the park he noticed a young man sitting at a bench with his face held in his palms. This is odd the king thought, it’s a beautiful day and this young man looks completely miserable. So the King approached the young man and asked him what the root of his sorrows were.

Selfish King: “Hello young man…It is a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and yet I couldn’t help but notice how sad you seemed sitting on this bench all alone. What is the root of your sorrows young man?”

Young man: (Looking up at the king and wiping tears from his eyes) “Go away!…mind your own business!”

Selfish King: “I understand your reluctance to share your sorrows with a stranger, but I once found myself in a hopeless hole too. I am forever grateful that I escaped that hole. I will ask only once more, what is the cause of your sorrow young man?”

Young Man: “She dumped me! The one girl that I truly loved broke my heart. I feel hopeless! I thought our love was real and it gave me true happiness! We had so many good times together, and now she is cold to my love, I feel that my heart has been crushed into a million pieces. Who are you? How did you get out of the hole?”

Selfish King: “I am a Selfish King.  Like you, I once mourned for the loss of my first “true love”, and I will share with you the path out of the hole of hopelessness. First though, I must ask of you one promise?”

Young man: “What’s that?”

Selfish King: “You must fully commit to the path. Never swaying or turning back. This path will lead you to all that you desire, and once you commence there shall be no turning back”

Young man: “If it leads me to all that I desire why would I turn back?”

Selfish King: “The path away from hopelessness is rewarding, but cumbersome. Many have found the path, but few persist the distance. It requires humility, discipline, and attention to tread this path. So I have your promise?”

Young man: (nodding his head) “Yes, Yes. You have my promise.”

Selfish King:  (The King stared at the boy with a large smile) “Within you.”

Young man: (looking confused) “Huh?”

Selfish King: “The path away from your sorrows starts within you.”

Young man: (looking disappointed) “That doesn’t help much, can you explain what you mean King?”

Selfish King:You are feeling hopeless because the girl that you loved has left you. Your tears have revealed to me that your happiness was rooted outside of yourself.It is the nature of those who are ruled to seek happiness from external sources. It is the nature of a Selfish King to create a well of happiness from within himself.”

Young man: “But I truly enjoyed my girlfriend’s company. Her affection made me feel like I mattered. If that’s not happiness then I don’t know what is.”

Selfish King: “It is true you received good emotions from the girl you loved, but have you asked yourself if you can receive the same emotions from yourself? Can you love yourself as you loved your former lover? Can you have pleasant moments as you did with her? The answer is certainly yes. Her affection is not connected to your value as a man, only you decide that. Happiness is created from the internal choice to lead a happy life regardless of external circumstance.”

Young man: “It’s just that the romance was beyond anything I ever experienced before. I was on cloud nine the entire span of our relationship, I don’t see how I can replicate that feeling. It seems impossible.”

Selfish King: “Your clouds were formed in false skies. The reason you felt such ecstasy is because you put your lover at the center of your universe, aggrandizing her prescience as the ultimate privilege. It is likely that she deemed you unworthy of this privilege and that is why she left. Your path away from hopelessness begins with the decision to change the center of your universe.”

YoungMan: “What should be at the center?”

Selfish King: “Yourself.”

Young Man: “It seems a bit narcissistic to think of myself as the center of the universe.”

Selfish King: “You must not make yourself the center of your universe from the desire of ego, but rather from a motivation of purpose. It is paramount that you put your own needs, goals, and desires before others’. Be selfish. If you do not seek what you desire then you can be certain you won’t find it. It is those who are altruistic to the point of disrespecting themselves that desire respect the most. The Selfish King is respected because he first respects himself.

Young Man: “So what if my purpose is to serve humanity and help my fellow man?”

Selfish King: “You can still be a Selfish King and serve humanity. I ask though, If you cannot create the life you desire for yourself as evidenced by your pining for a former lover, how do you expect to create a life for others? Very noble is your path if it leads to the servitude of humanity, but I am certain that your path begins with servitude to yourself.”

Young man: (Looking curious) So how do I serve myself?

Selfish King: “Only you can answer this question. Each man is unique on his path to becoming a Selfish King. Each has his own desires, goals, and dispositions. I can say that all paths require failure. Failure is the result of going for what you want and with each failure you grow stronger. All paths require you to seek knowledge and pursue your interests with tenacity. All paths will lead to the reality that a Selfish King desires.”

Young Man: “So what if I want my ex-lover back, will the path bring her back to me?”

Selfish King: “Pay attention. The only control you have on this path are your own actions. Your most precious resource is time, and the more time you invest thinking about your former lover the more they return to the center of your universe. You are the center now. You must replace the lost lover with your aspirations, challenges, and desires. I cannot deny the possibility of your lover’s return as you bring yourself to the center of your reality, but you will soon learn that your happiness will not depend on her prescience. You will become so absorbed in creating the reality that you desire the sorrow you once felt will be gone.

Young Man: “So if I invest time in myself my sadness will go away?

Selfish King:Exactly. The reason I asked you to commit to the path of self-investment is because many do not have the concentration to stick with it. They will focus on creating their own reality for a short time and quickly retreat to the comfort of seeking happiness from external sources. The path of least resistance. As a Selfish King I understand that the fruits of self investment are sporadic but ABUNDANT. If you have patience and continuously commit to process of creating the life you desire then I assure you your sorrows will be transformed into joy. The path is filled with obstacles, but it is the nature of a Selfish King to overcome anything that stands between him and his true reality.

Young Man: “I believe you Selfish King. I will commit to the path, but how do I stop thinking about my love lost?”

Selfish King: “By loving yourself. You must understand that each thought spent on your past lover is a thought that could have been directed toward the attainment of your goals. I will say it again, love yourself. Love yourself so much that you will choose to invest your time rather than spend it. Love yourself so much that you will speak your thoughts without regard of external consequence because you know that true validation is your own.

Young Man: “Thank you for the advice Selfish King, I understand now that I must commit to the process of investing in myself and put my own desires at the center of my universe. One last question, did your love lost return to you on your path? I must know.”

Selfish King: No. Never. However, the love I lost I gained 10 fold from the love I now I have for myself. I can now look at my reflection and feel immense pride for what I have become. My potential has come to fruition and I’m certain that if my love lost knew of my current state she would feel remorse for failing to see the greatness in me. There is a Selfish King in all of us. It’s up to you to free him. It’s up to you to love him. Stick to the path of self-investment and watch what happens to your life. Best of luck young man, and don’t forget to keep your promise.”

Takeaway:

For those of you who have just been dumped, I hope that you will choose the path of the Selfish King. In 2018 many men are spending their time so focused on getting validation from external things like social media, female praise, and sexual notch counts that they lose track of the validation that REALLY matters….their own. I know that if you are going through a break up you feel like shit, but understand that the ultimate remedy is to focus on creating a life that YOU WANT. Exercise, reading, creative hobbies, career goals, meaningful friendships, these are the things that should be at the center of your universe. We’ve all pined for an ex, but just realize that the more time you pine the more you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to reach your potential. It’s my deep belief that when a woman walks away from you that you should let her go and never look back. If you commit to self-investment the chances of her crawling back are significantly higher, but by that time you will have evolved into a Selfish King. Your new found self-respect would never allow for a fickle Queen.  Thanks for reading guys, and until next time….STAY SELFISH.

 

 

4 comments

  1. Thank you so much for writing this. I just wish there were more roadmaps on learning to love yourself first and finding goals in alignment with that.

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